We got to our hostel and we were super excited that it was in such a great location. It was perfect except for one thing: there was another creepy old person in our room in our hostel. This was 3 for 4 times that Lauren and I have stayed in a hostel with a creepy old person, London being the only exception. WTF? Why do old people think it’s okay to stay in YOUTH hostels? It really creeps me out.
It was extra creepy because this guy was already sleeping. At 8 p.m? He also never left the hostel. About 75% of the time I saw him, he was sleeping. When he would get up he had no problem walking around with his shirt off baring his old man chest to the world! Who does that? The rest of the time, he was watching TV in the lounge. It brought back memories of the crazy lady in Madrid.
Our first activity of the night was the eating at the Hard Rock Cafe. Valerie calls herself a “Connoisseur” of HR’s and buys a shirt from every one she eats at. An hour later we were sitting comfortably at a table eating delicious American food.
The next morning, we got up bright and early to get to Sagrada Familia. The line gets super long so we needed to get there as soon as possible. We got in about ten and spent an hour there. Let me just say, this is the most beautiful church I have ever been to. If all churches looked like this, I would go to church every week. The whole thing has a forest feel to it and I also like that Gaudi put lizards and snakes on the outside of the church. There were also dead babies, depicting the slaughter of the innocence story in the Bible.
Anyway, we left and walked across the street to an ATM and a souvenir shop. I took a picture of the back of the church and I saw what looked like dust. I thought to myself “they sure are blowing a lot of dust up there.”
Turns out that dust was actually the smoke from the fire that was on the news! Apparently there was a mentally disturbed man who tried to light the whole place on fire! It was quite exciting.
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| I mean could you see how that could look like dust? |
After escaping our near death experience we headed back to out hostel because we were late for our tour. It started at 11:30 but we walked down the wrong street so we were late and afraid we missed it. We told each other “look for someone who looks familiar.” Fortunately the Ginger boy who was staying in our room was walking down the street with other people on the tour! We had some really awesome luck this week.
We chose to go on the Gothic tour instead of the Gaudi tour since we were doing all that stuff on our own. It was a really good tour because we be able to find those places on our own, or wouldn’t have known that they were significant or not. For example this picture below is a representation of George Orwell getting shot in the neck when he fought in the Spanish Civil War. I don’t know why, but art isn’t supposed to make sense.
I also learned that Picasso had his first time with some prostitutes in a brothel on this street. Iw awas also where he painted said prostitutes in one of his famous paintings, Les Demoiselles d'Avignon.
We also saw this crazy lady who was yelling about how the government are just thieves and liars who steal from us. The back of her sign said “Tengo Alzheimers.”
The tour guide also told us the story of the Catalan Version of Santa Claus called Tio Mierdo and yes that is a direct translation: Uncle shit. Apparently the parents cut down a big log and decorate it. Then the children take a big stick and beat Tio Mierdo and sing a song that roughly translates as “Uncle shit, give us presents! If not we’ll beat you.” Then the parents pull back Tio Mierdo’s cape to reveal the presents he pooped out.
This story could be real or the tour guide could be full of shit. Pun intended.
After the tour we ate at a restaurant that the tour guide recommended. It had really cool cave paintings like this one of a panther having sex with a man. The menu looked normal, but there was something on the menu that Lauren didn’t understand.
Lauren: Guys what’s jkanfka.fkbefwbf,
Me & Valerie: I dunno
*In comes the waiter*
Laure: what’s bbvjhbvdjs vjsWaiter: It a vegetable, it like this *hold up his hand like he’s measuring something*
It’s like a big dick!
I knew he was gonna say something like that. Then he kept going on and on about it and I think we decided that it was an eggplant. Lauren ordered something else.
After our lunch at the sex panther restaurant we headed back to the hostel and stayed there for the rest of the day. Valerie and Lauren were really tired and by the time they woke up from their nap, it was time to eat again. Since we’re all broke, we walked over to grocery store to buy pasta and brought it back to cook in the kitchen.
The next day we slept in and had a leisurely day enjoying the work of Antoni Gaudi. All I have to say is that Gaudi was a genius. His ideas are so unique and ahead of his time. Our first stop was Casa Batllo, a grueling one-block journey from our hostel. After a tour of the house we headed over to Parc Guell for lunch and a stroll through the park. It truly is beautiful.
That afternoon we headed toward the beach to enjoy the view of the Mediterranean. It was too cold to put our swimsuits on, so we went completely clothed. I did put my feet in the water and it was the most relaxing feeling. The whole time I was thinking “I wish it were midnight because I had Minus the Bear’s Pachuca Sunrise stuck in my head.” After a few horrible spontaneous jumping pictures we headed to La iglesia Maria del Mar and then back to the hostel.
That night we were tired from all our activities so we decided to watch El Copa del Rey at our hostel. For all you people who don’t know it’s a game between Real Madrid and FC Barcelona. I was quite excited because my lover, David Villa, was playing really amazingly, until the only goal scored by Barcelona was called back because it was offsides, which I thought was crap. Then Ronaldo had to ruin it all and scored the only goal of the match. A curse on you Real Madrid!
Our last and Final day was spent at the Picasso museum. I really enjoyed it. It’s really amazing to see what one guy can create and how his work evolved over time. My favorite pieces were his cubism paintings of Las Meninas and how he turned an iconic painting into his own creation. If you ever get a chance to go to one of his museums, do it!!!
We ate our last meal at the fine Spanish eatery, McDonald’s, because we were in a hurry. We headed toward the airport after a wonderful Spanish holiday. Hands down this was my favorite city I’ve ever been to. The only problem was that it was overcast and cold the whole time we were there.
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